Had a nice chat with Vonny just now.
Sigh...we are all quater life crisis sufferers.
When you think ya the only one,really u r not.

Von,Irene,and me at least.
Everyone of us has our own shares of woes.Be it career,family or relationships.
Always expect the unexpected here.

Yng~I wonder how r u right now.

I am so damn vexed being caught in the dilemma of finding a job n not.
One thing is I am really not confident or rather very sick of the so called perm jobs out there.
Like von said,I am too sick of the pretentious society life.

You wanted to be doing something but you really dunno what to do.
Alot of pple of our ages got a job and then quit soon after.

Of coz there are some who really got ahead of many of us.Not surprisingly are those high end acheivers in school also.

I wana be studying again,and I badly miss studying.
But I have no wish to study any biz courses coz I know I wont be interested enough and will not have the money to.

I wanna go NIE,but why izzit so damn long and it is not a guarantee that you will get in.
Till den..I would be dead!

Even gg out alone doesnt serves the kick anymore.
How long can I cont'd doing this!

It is really damn sian lo.

Everyone thinks 20 is still so young.Precisely I am so damn young,why shld I sentence myself to death by doing something I dont like!
But the adults,our adults,dont understand?
Pple outside doesnt look at you at the same manner.
IF you are not studying,not working,den you are as good as a slum.
Well..that is what I am,what I feel I am.

You dont understnad that kinda horrible feeling!
Cos you are doing something now,I am not.

Cos you still have a few years of ur life being plan for you,I have not.

How can I be free?

I feel compelled to be doing something,yet I am doing soemthing I dun like.
But if you ask me now,I have already forgotten what I like!

All the time I am doing something for the sake of doing something!I dun remember having any chances to explore what I like doing!
And I have well forgotten n dun even know what I wanna do by now!
I just know I gotta be doing something at least!

I feel so upset by this yet for crying out loud,I feel more useless!

Is this another form of depression?

Say i have 2 routes now.

a)I hold all the way till the 22nd.
Pros:I can have all the limited time,as promised,with Jason.For all I know,after e 22nd,there will be 2 years of toughship.That is the time alot of things MAY change or not,depends on me and him.
Cons:It is extremely hard to find job den coz it is closing to CNY.Imagine no money to buy new clothes,no mood to celebrate and worse...rotting till den!!
It is almost 1 mth since I am not working and I feel so damn nauseous!

b)I start to look for temp data entry/admin work.Hopefully I can do so by this month.
Pros:At least I can stop all these nonsenses for a while and I have income!

Cons:Reverse of my pros in (a)


See..I feel like tearing my hair apart!

Enough is enough...I shall hold it to the 8th and see how so den.